Online Dating Made Easy

With the digital age advancing, we see many of our friends now dating through online websites and using dating-apps. The whole process is a challenge you think? Here are a few things that would help you make it easy.

Dos:

1. Be honest yet crisp

When you are done looking at other profiles and have a fair idea of what’s going on, you can start your own journey on an online dating portal. Write a short yet crisp bio of you. They need key points and things that might interest them. Make sure you are including what is required and not writing your autobiography.

2. Being realistic

When you write about yourself make sure you are being clear about what you want. Do not write something just because you think others will like it. Using your ideas for attracting people to your profile is one thing you need to know, it should be realistic

3. Better pictures

The pictures you upload on an online dating app/website should make a few things very clear; they should be reflecting your persona and your body at the same time. Also one important thing, they should be recent ones and not old pictures where you don’t look like you anymore.

Pictures wherein you are seen happy and not a close-up is what you need. Group photos should be avoided. A variety where you show off somebody and some good personality is what they want.

4. Take your time

Avoid being impulsive and take your time to choose. You need to feel comfortable and secure. It is normal to be scared to meet someone new (strangers). But if you avoid meeting people it will be best that you quit the online dating part of it. Don’t be hasty about meeting anyone unless you really feel you are in for it.

Calling could help you a bit, easing you out before you meet the person and feel a little calm. Also, it helps gauge the personality and compatibility with your perspective. If you do not feel like meeting post the call, you can definitely cancel the meeting.

5. Tell a friend

Not everyone is a good person. It is our choice after all, but you need to make sure there is no harm in meeting the person you are about to meet. You should be smart and careful when you are dating online.

It is best that you tell a friend before you meet someone from an online dating app/site. Tell all the details about when, where and until what time would you be meeting this person. You can also drop messages during your date, this helps keep track of how things are going. The contact information of this person could be shared to make more room for safety.

6. Meet outside (not at someone’s house)

This one is for safety. Meet at a public place, maybe a coffee shop, restaurant or a park. If your first date goes well, you can think of another. But it is best that you don’t invite the person home or go to their place when it’s the first time.

7. Start with messages

Frequent messaging will get you some information on how that person is. His thoughts and attitude would be reflected eventually. This is the process when you set up your initial date.

8. It’s not only the looks

The chemistry you have with your partner is not based on looks. Looks are the most exciting thing in the beginning but you realize soon that it is the other things that are more things to it. There are other personality traits which are more important.

9. Be open to thoughts

When you choose online dating it can be difficult initially. Be open to thoughts, your mind will send you impulses about the person and you should be able to rely on them. But be careful, don’t impulsive and choose to declare a yes or a no to the person instantly.

10. Some people are better in person

The virtual world can be deceiving at times. When you see a very flat description of any person on their profile, you should just discard meeting them. They might surprise you when they meet you. There are people who might lack online presence but would be great fun in person.

11. Meet them over a coffee than a drink

If you are meeting someone for the first time, you don’t want to get drunk.  That would spoil the whole memory of the date and also ruin a few other things maybe. It will also put you under the wrong impression of that person. You might miss out on the little signs and gestures you might not skip when you are completely sober. You can choose to drink when you know each other well.

12. Set some sort of an agenda/plan for dates

Some choose online dating as an option for passing time, some choose it seriously. The latter would have goals that they have been dreaming of in a relationship. One can set up goals for meeting friends and other people important to the person’s life according to the progress in the relationship.

13. Try experimenting with different sites

You should know your purpose before you choose your perfect app/website. If you are clear about what you want, you will know where you are getting the best. There is a thin line between a dating app and an app for getting easy sex.

Don’ts

1. Lie or use superlatives

You should opt for being realistic and true to the person you are looking to date. It is somewhat true that most of them who are using online dating lie. But you should be true and expect truth. Look for positive alternatives for your down points and be up front where required.

2. Put yourself in a vulnerable position

Going to a stranger’s house for the first meeting is a big NO. Also you don’t need to invite the person you are meeting for the first time to your house. It will only make you vulnerable.

3. Give in easily

The other person might try to convince you to have a drink or crash at someone’s place post your date. Do not give in to such pressure. It is your stand and you should stick to it.If you saying no would let them down it is alright. Do not be let down by it.

4. Settle easily

There might be things you don’t like about the person you are dating. It is fine. Look for more options and you might get the right person soon. It is a dumb thing to settle for someone you don’t like.

5. Overthink or be judgemental

You might find people who are not perfect. Well, who is? There are a variety of people and you need to be the best judge of what shortcomings can you fulfill when you are in a relation. It is a give and takes always.

6. Look for the exact copy of your dream

There will be different people and different traits they carry. It is not necessary that you get all what you need. Chemistry is more important than only what you like. There will be some similar interests but you need to look for them. It is not that always you get someone who fits in.

7. Make the person wait for long

It is not good to keep someone waiting after you have been texting back and forth online. It is good to give importance to the other person. You might find it difficult to break out of your comfort zone but do it.

8. Be pessimistic

Be open to what you are and how someone would be lucky to be with you. Also, keep reminding yourself of this thought.

Afreen Malik

Mother of 2, a full-time writer with 3+ years of experience, love to write for IMBesharam.com If you have any opinion/suggestions about my write-ups please share them in comments below

December 5, 2017

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