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In school, sex was often addressed as shameful and talking about it was considered a taboo. Young women were told that indulging in sexual behavior would lower their worth and that they would become ‘second hand’ goods, as though their self-worth was connected only to their sexuality. It wasn’t much easier for younger men either, they were often made to feel guilty of their sexual urges and lust. Due to raging hormones in that age, young boys have thoughts in their head that makes them feel like perverts, resulting in them being guilt-ridden and not honest.
The orthodox older folks of society blamed the western culture and media for popularizing sex and influencing the younger generation that sex is something casual and having intercourse casually is not a big deal. While some parts of the world have become more liberal, almost all of us have been unconsciously affected by the centuries of stiff-lipped religious ethics that have gone before us. These rigid and inhumane ideologies have encouraged us to repress and shun our sexuality. What these orthodox older generations fail to see is that sexual desire is hard-wired into our brains. Yes, the desire that stems from the need to satisfy oneself physically is called sexual desire. That doesn’t mean that we think about sex all the time, but it is something to think about in terms of pleasing one’s own body and mind.
Sex offers us the opportunity to feel desired by another person, the feeling of being loved by someone for who we really are, and this feeling is intense, something that cannot be replicated. Who gives anyone the right to suppress this feeling or to take it away? I don’t think anyone should be given that right! But then again, we must live in this society and this society has a set of rules that we must follow to live in it. But does that mean that they have the right to take away our most primal urges and instincts? No, they don’t, but we tend to adjust to the norms of society and forget or repress our own needs. There are other causes due to which a person’s sexual desires are curbed. For instance, some wives shy away from showing their sexual side to their husbands, due to the fear of being judged and don’t express them at all. On the other hand, some husbands are insensitive to their wives’ needs and hurry sexual intercourse. In this process, neither the husband or the wife enjoy the process of lovemaking and suppress their inner need to express themselves.
Some of the symptoms that show that you are experiencing sexual repression are chronic tension: when we carry too much pent-up energy in our lower abdomen area and it is not released through an orgasm, our bodies tend to store up this energy can stagnate if we don’t have an outlet to express it. The next symptom is insomnia: In some cases, insomnia can also be the product of bottled-up sexual energy that hasn’t been expressed or channelled appropriately. Aggression is also one such symptom, we can see this clearly expressed in strict religious countries where the occurrences of rape, assault, and murder are high due to sexual repression. Frequent erotic dreams are also a sign that you are sexually repressed. If you’re having dreams about being intimate or sleeping with someone in your dreams, it is a sign that you are sexually repressed. The effects of repressing sexual desires can be dire. Once repressed, some people shy away from the opposite sex, thinking that it will arouse them sexually. Some dress up shabbily or much more ordinary than they usually do, to not attract the opposite sex. Others suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem and inability to cope up with work.
Sexual repression is a serious problem and it must be addressed. A few ways to tackle it would be to gain sex education, an awareness must be created in order to understand the problem and to seek help. Some things one can do to overcome sexual repression is, record your personal experiences in a journal or a private diary. This will help you to openly express your true sexual feelings, without being judged. Exploring self-pleasure can also help as it will elicit the feeling of guilt, embarrassment within ourselves, at the same time exploring your deepest sexual desires and what makes you happy. Other methods of coping include learning to enjoy sex when it is actually happening, instead of thinking too hard about the taboo that the society has built around it. Also allowing oneself to feel desirable is a way of coping with sexual repression. The most powerful way to feel desirable is to respect and accept yourself for who you really are, only then will you seem attractive to the opposite sex. These are only a few tips as to how one can enjoy sexual intercourse in this world where everyone is judging. In today’s times, the taboo is starting to fade away gradually, giving us a chance to live up to our desires, so there is nothing to shy away from, go ahead and explore your wild side!
Have you ever questioned yourself? Do you love your partner or just long for the physical fulfillment? This question should be answered easily by knowing these interesting differences…
The more you think about a person does not mean you love him/her. It may also be because you just want to be physically involved with the person. You have hormones that trigger such feelings. It need not be loved always. Lust is difficult to identify, but when you do know it, it is fun to execute the pleasure you derive from it.
It is not a necessary thing that one may like the person they think about having physical involvement with. Sometimes the person is on your mind due to other reasons. Knowing the difference between this helps to not be obsessed with that particular person.
When in love you need to know the person. But when it is lust, you need not know the person fully. The more unknown the person is, the more the excitement. The more tantalizing the person is, the more it will keep you engaged into it.
Memories are something that we all have, be it loved ones or be it lusty conversations. There is a difference between love memories and lust memories. You would not bother much about losing a partner who you are involved due to lust, but you might suffer a traumatic blow if your lover goes away.
When in love, you will be more connected to your partner with emotions. When lust would only instill physical thoughts, love is more complex.
The difference between love and lust is very clear when you know you care more about the person. The thin line becomes clearer when one does not get affected when a person is not paying attention or giving enough time. Relations procured with lust do not need maintenance, but love relations do.
When they both – love and lust combine, the experience is mind-boggling. One feels different and sexual fulfillment is heightened when they both are together. There is need to have these two as a super duo to your life!
Though the line is very blurred, you need to know what you consider love and what you consider lust, because if confused these can lead to disastrous results. One needs to be careful when to choose what.
In this post, we will discuss some of the raunchiest ways of enjoying an orgasm without having the penis touch the vagina. Here it goes;
It is one of the safest technique and increases sexual confidence amongst couples, it would be a surprise for many but many couples who often engage in penetrative sex, are many a time shy to even get naked or probably have never tried masturbation in front of their partner.
Masturbating in front of each one another ensures that you own your own orgasm, and are not dependent on your partner. You can totally surprise your partner by letting them come home and “catch” you rubbing yourself, trust me, no one can ever not like it.
Tip: One might get tempted to jump in and finish the job, but restraining your passions and enforcing a no touching rule for as long as possible — will only make things hotter.
I highly recommend couples to try Lovense Max for men and Lush by Lovense for women It is am an amazing product where you get to orgasm without penetration and the motion is still controlled by your partner.
Tip: It is important to be lubricated when using sex toy, and not just any lubricant but the one advised by the product, water-based lubes like are great for toys while silicone-based lubes is better for intercourse, oral sex and fingering. The amount of natural lubricant a woman produces is not indicative of her level of arousal as everything from stress to dehydration to medications can affect the body’s ability to get wet.
Our brain is the largest sex organ in our body, ignoring it is a huge disservice. It is possible for individuals to orgasm in minutes or seconds without physical contact when they engage in dirty talk instead of sex.
Tip: Don’t rush into this, if you have not tried this before as it might lead to an awkward moment. Experts suggest a great way to build confidence and test the waters is by sexting your partner. It if works out, you have got yourself a game to play.
One thing that the franchise of 50 shades has done is, made people realize that they are not the only one who like Bondage, Spanking or Role-Playing. People are getting more experimental and do try new things in bed.
Tip: You do not have to go to extreme when experimenting. You can start with simple pair of handcuffs to get the thrill of being tied up. BDSM is about making your partner comfortable and exploring the side that you didn’t know existed – and that dear friends, can tip the excitment scale to orgasm
Image Credit: Independent
Here are 4 techniques that can try and enjoy the awesome sex that doesn’t involve putting anything anywhere.
Wet kisses on the neck and warm breaths on ears do send a shiver down the spine, it is often used as an initial step to turn someone on. Whispering and breathing in someone’s ear can feel really nice to some, it is a great way of communicating, whispering how good it feels, how sexy they are, or asking where they would like to be touched can be very sexy.
Tip: It is not the most famous technique and not every one clings to it, if you are starter, you can go for show talks in ears, breathing around neck and ear, wetting the ear (don’t over do it)
Sometimes people like to be bitten or to bite their partner on the chest, neck shoulder, earlobe, etc. It can be really hot for few, while others would hate it. So it might be ideal to not surprise your partner with it, probably you can simply ask them if they would like to be bitten. You can ask, “do you like love bites?” “can I lick your nipples?” “can you be gentle with my neck please?”
Tip: You don’t need to bite the flesh out of someone, you might want to ask when giving love bites because it leaves marks which last couple of days. It can be embarrassing covering it up. So people prefer to say below the neckline not above.
Dry humping, rubbing and grinding are some of the techniques that if not everyone most of us would have done in our late teens, the kind that takes place when both partners are either fully or partially dressed. Grinding is also something you can do naked, but remember to keep it safe you might want to keep your genitals away from each other or wear pants or wear condoms.
The beauty of this is that it’s exciting because there is no pressure to perform, no worries about birth control and a rare opportunity for both you and your partner to get off at the same time from the same act.
Tip: Be aware of the fabric that you or your partner is wearing when doing this, a rough fabric stroking over your body can actually be harsh to the skin and a big turn off.
Some people like to be licked at not only the ‘erogenous zones’: breasts, neck, mouth, genitals, blah blah but also some non-erogenous zones like back, wrist. The trick is to try and touch it the different way, sometimes light sometimes hard. It could be mulling wine over each other and licking it up or an ice cream or even an ice-cube but never inside anyone and be very careful around the genitals.
Tip: Some people have really sensitive nipples and any action around that regions can make them squirm. One can start by kissing and licking around nipples and then sucking them.
Image Source: PhotoNews
Apart from feeling amazing, sex has a whole bunch of benefits for your health and relationship. Many couples notice higher levels of emotional intimacy and less guarded in relationships after having sex not just because they have someone for regular action, but since sex has more to do with your emotions than you think. From a healthier heart to stronger immunity, sex can do a lot of good for your physical well being.
Feel-good hormones called endorphins and oxytocin are produced in the body during sex because of touching, kissing, hugging which relaxes the mind and relieves stress. It also helps keep anxiety and depression at bay.
Sex is about sharing your extremely private space with someone, so it helps break your guard with your partner. The feel-good hormones activate various pleasure centers of the brain which create a need for intimacy and trust with your partner.
Sex is the most natural immunity booster. Various studies have shown that individuals with an active sex life fall sick less often. The body releases certain protective antibodies that help ward off against common viruses, bacteria, works and other germs that cause diseases. Research has also shown better metabolism in persons having sex twice-thrice a week on an average.
Regular sexual activity keeps hormone levels in check, like estrogen and testosterone. Any imbalance in these levels can cause heart troubles and even osteoporosis. Sex also controls high blood pressure situations.
Lack of libido, vaginal dryness or pain, can all be treated by having sex. Involving in sexual activity will boost desire, help lubrication and alleviate pain from the pelvic region.
Sex involves physical movement and a good session can burn as much as five calories per minute to qualify as cardio! It also increases your flexibility and keeps you active. While it may not exactly be ideal to replace your regular workout with sex, it’s a good addition to your physical activities.
Sex releases prolactin, a natural sleep drug which ensures a peaceful shut eye. You feel satisfied and sometimes exhausted after having sex, this makes falling asleep easier. It is also known to reduce the symptoms of insomnia.
Sex is known to aid in regulating menstrual cycles, reduces menstrual cramps, and delaying the onset of menopause. Endorphins released during an orgasm work similar to morphine, hence, relieves pain no matter which body part – headaches, arthritis and cramps. These hormones block pain signals relieving the body of suffering.
The release of estrogen and testosterone can keep your skin looking much younger than your actual age, and even envious hair. Individuals with an active sex life, four times a week on average, looked almost seven to twelve years younger (may vary person to person based on lifestyle choices). However, it’s safe to say that with good regular sex, you can stop buying those expensive anti-ageing creams and night creams!
A high percentage of women suffer from urinary incontinence. Regular or work the pelvic muscles, strengthening and toning them (very similar to kegel exercises).
One of the male specific benefit of sex is a reduced risk of prostate cancer. Studies have shown that men who ejaculated on an average of twenty-one times a month were less likely to show any symptoms. However, there is no solid reason to categorise the ejaculation through sex, masturbation or nocturnal emission.
It’s not an exam, it’s not something your life will be judged on, but it’s always good to be prepared. A lot of youngsters have sex because everyone is doing it and they don’t want to miss out. However, it’s a huge moment to share that kind of intimacy and closeness with someone and you should ignore peer pressure in such cases. Give yourself and your partner time to be ready and talk about it.
Don’t fall for the glorious stories of performance your friends or colleagues may have bragged about, don’t assume everything shown in porn is how real sex happens because it’s scripted and rehearsed, and you don’t wake up with perfect hair the next morning (movie logic). Every couple needs to find their own rhythm and understanding in bed and it’s okay to not be the best the first time as long as you put in the effort.
While virginity staying intact until marriage is not such an alarming issue anymore from society’s perspective, those special moments for the first time should be with someone special. You will always remember the person you had sex with for the first time, the person you gave your virginity to. It’s a big deal for a lot of people, and hence, choosing who that person is you want to remember for the rest of your life is very important.
Your first-time sex can make or break you emotionally. If it’s with the right person, and we don’t mean the one you’re going to marry or settle down with; someone who understands you and is right at that point of time in life, it’ll be one of the best experiences. However, if the one you choose is not in it for emotions then you may lose faith completely.
Your first time is going to happen once, so be sure that you are emotionally willing to get involved in this. Don’t do it because your partner may be pressuring you into it and you’re worried he/she may leave you otherwise. Believe me, it’s not worth your time anyway. Secondly, make sure your partner is equally willing if they are not, then don’t push or try to persuade them into it – you just have to be patient and let them take their time.
First times are all about excitement, exploring and fun. It’s important both of you enjoy every moment spent in bed. Try new things during foreplay, spend time on each other instead of directly jumping to post. Most importantly, buy condoms and use them when the actual time comes. Girls, don’t let the guy convince you into not using condoms it’s for protection. Boys, don’t make a big deal out of its inconvenience, the consequences of not using are way worse.
Your first time is not for you to experiment every movie scene or porn fantasy with your partner. You must cover your basic well before you two start experimenting because it may take the time to get that comfortable. The missionary position is most recommended for first timers as it is easy, both partners have equal control and they face each other which helps make the process intimate. In the missionary position, the guy is on top and the girl on her back.
Unlearn everything you’ve picked up from various sources about sex, keep an open mind and be humble in bed. Your first time will be magical if you don’t overthink things and let yourself be at the moment. We have some key pointers to help you have an amazing time:
“They’re in an open relationship!”
Those five words can turn heads, raise eyebrows and quickly turn into distasteful looks by most in our society. Open relationships are considered stigma because the world expects you to commit to one and spend the rest of your lives with them. What you need to remember is that open relationships may not be as famous as are committed monogamous relationships but they do exist.
For some, committing to one and settling with that one can be seen as boring, mundane and binding. Certain free souls can never be and are never meant to be tied down such. The important thing though is transparency.
Partners who find the need to explore outside of their relationship once in a while, give in to sexual impulses with a stranger on a business trip or a casual fling with someone younger just to keep things exciting. They have found a way to work polyamorous relationships to their benefit but those who get into such relationship it is important to discuss the need for such an arrangement openly with your partner and ensure they’re absolutely okay with it.
Polyamorous scenes tend to invite jealousy and insecurity among partners especially when boundaries haven’t been discussed.
Some couples are okay with an online flirtation, some with casual encounters during travel and a few who have no boundaries. When you allow your partner to continue exploring their options sexually and otherwise, there are chances of jealousy cropping up in the equation, or your partner finding someone better. Sometimes, there are heartbreaks for one partner from something casual and your relationship will be tested during those moments. Whether you stand by your partner to help them through their wounds or decide you can’t take it anymore, is something only time could tell but also how strong your bond is.
You can’t force your partner into this, they need to equally feel the excitement and openness to it.
Couples decide what and how much they want to reveal to their partners from their side acts mutually. Often there are times when one of them may slip slightly across that line and it might bring in a rough patch. There is, however, a possibility that it might improve your relationship. Couples have reported better sex lives with their partners after experimenting with open relationships since they had were allowed a variety of sex.
Open relationships allow you to act on your impulses, be with other people without feeling guilty and never regretting that you couldn’t give it a chance.
Partners use their random adventures as foreplay during their bedroom sessions. A certain amount of competition is also good in relationships, just to make sure neither of the two slack or become complacent in their intimacy. However, take the competition too far and you’ve got a jealous and insecure partner. Once that sets in, the insecure one will always worry about the other one leaving for someone better and self-doubt and depression could set in.
There could be numerous couples who would have benefitted out of this arrangement but it leaves a lot of time heartbroken and bereft. Communicate with your partner about any doubts and issues, boundaries and possible consequences. It is important to know what is for you and what isn’t.
Image Credits: Youth Incorporated
Just like a relationship is not just about holding hands and saying sweet nothings to each other, sex is not just about intercourse. Sex is a process, an activity, an act of intimacy and passion that can lead to earth shattering orgasms that could be as good as ecstasy. However, to actually achieve that, foreplay is a necessity for both men and women to be satisfied from the act of sex. Kissing, petting, dry humping, fingering, oral sex, handjobs are different things you could include in your foreplay.
Foreplay not only helps build the mood and play majorly on the passion, it is required for the woman to naturally lubricate which makes her ready for intercourse. If you were to jump to the sex directly without any lead up to it, she may experience vaginal dryness and discomfort causing pain or soreness from penetrative sex.
Foreplay helps getting the mind and body ready to the final step of intercourse. Spend enough time exploring each other’s’ bodies instead of dismissing it and hurrying to your final destination. A lot of women need stimulation in the form of foreplay, which is also known as outercourse, to achieve an orgasm. Vaginal orgasms are rare and when enough attention hasn’t been paid to the other erogenous zones, it will leave her dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Needless to say, it should continue while you’re having intercourse. The conversation, the appreciating, the intimacy should stay as it will only make the experience that much better.
While it’s a good idea to pay attention to the obvious areas like lips and genitals, you must be fair to the other body parts. You never know touching what might turn on your partner instantly like neck, earlobes, nipples, back, or almost anything else! The more every part feels heightened with sensitivity, the better will be the following orgasm. Remember, foreplays are a great way to spend time on each other and find new things, intercourse is not the finish prize, outercourse can help create utmost desperation for each other which can lead to one of the best nights of your life!
Ladies, here are five quick tips to make him go crazy:
Work the visuals – sexy lingerie, a strip dance, or just be naked waiting for him before he’s out of the shower!
Let the lips travel – Slowly move your lips around his chest, stomach, neck and exhale heavily, that rush of hot air is going to make him fly higher.
Take charge – Seduce your man, show him how much you want him, bring your animal instinct to bed, and let him know how much you want to please him.
Scratch to please – Use your hands, touch him all over, lightly scratch his back to make him feel wanted.
Edge to heaven – Work him to the point where he’s close to an orgasm, then stop. Do this a few times till he can’t take it anymore, he’s going to return the favor for sure.
Men, we’ve got some tips for you too:
Keep kissing – Kissing for women is a very important first step to intimacy and let her lead the way, don’t rush for too much tongue.
Spank me daddy – Lightly spank her buttocks during foreplay, it’ll definitely get her going harder on you!
Talk dirty to me – Know the difference between dirty and disgusting and you’re good to go! It is vital to know what her limits are so as to not turn her off midway by saying something wrong.
Work it boy – To get her turned on, you’ll have to multitask your lips and hands, sometimes your toes can run up and down her legs.
Appreciate her – Women tend to be emotional about sex and simply letting her know how much you like what she’s doing to you could earn you brownie points!
The word ‘Clitoris’ originated from the Greeks which means ‘key’. If that translation alone does not convince you to consider learning a few techniques and helping your partner have better orgasms, maybe the rest of this article will.
If you’ve studied your biology well, you’ll know that the clitoris has 8,000 sensitive nerve endings which are double that of the tip of your penis. Sorry, gentlemen, the women beat you there! The only reason for its existence is pleasure, pure pleasure. It has no part take in reproduction. A slight touch would sometimes fire her up! An orgasm achieved through this technique could be far better and earth shattering for your lady.
To put certain things into perspective, let’s delve deeper into the science of it. At conception, every foetus has the same amount of genital tissue, it’s only around 12 weeks that it starts to develop either into a penis or labia. So in essence, the penis and the clitoris are the same but in different forms. The clitoris is similar to a penis such that it also has a gland, a hood (foreskin), and a tiny shaft. Another interesting fact is that only one-fourth of the clitoris is actually visible to the naked eye, the rest of it is hidden underneath.
Just the way wine gets better with age, the clitoris grows during a woman’s lifetime. From puberty to menopause, it becomes almost seven times the size at birth. While this isn’t such a noticeable size change, experts often believe this may be the reason older women seem to have better sex. It is also said that the closer the clit is to the vagina, the easier it is for a woman to achieve orgasm by penetration.
While vaginal orgasms are commonly known, they don’t come by easily. Only thirty percent of the women are able to achieve them purely through penetration, other require some finger magic. Spending a few moments, licking, rubbing, sucking on the clit will improve your chances of receiving some rewards in return. Every clit does not like the same things, so try different things or simply ask your partner. Sex toys could also be a great option.
Now that you’ve gained all this knowledge about the pleasure center of the female body, don’t think twice before exploring this new fountain of sweet endings. However, it is important to remember that it has its own limit. The clitoris tends to reach a peak point post stimulation and continued efforts will create discomfort and will not help add any value in your act.