SEX FORUMCategory: Sexpert AdviceI orgasm fantasizing that my partner is having sex with someone else, I dont want him to know that and what it to stop. What should I do?
Meghna asked 3 months ago

I have to picture my boyfriend with other women to have an orgasm. It’s not just this boyfriend either — any man I have been with physically, in order to get over the edge, I need to picture them looking at another naked woman, touching another woman, having sex with another woman, etc. — in some way cheating on me, in order to finish. I have never told my boyfriend because I am worried he will start to want to have threesomes or swing or sleep with other women in front of me, but the thought of actually doing any of these things makes me sick to my stomach (I don’t want to open a can of worms, have him start fantasizing about this stuff too, and not be able to stop the trajectory). And I feel like this drives a wedge between my boyfriend and me because (1) I can’t be honest about what I’m really fantasizing about and (2) after we’ve had sex, I’ve just been picturing him having sex with someone else! It is isolating and I feel like it pushes him away each time I do this and I feel like it makes me (irrationally) worry more about him actually cheating because I am picturing it in my head all the time in order to get off. I’ve tried really hard to reach the peak without picturing him doing these things, but then it goes on for too long, we start getting frustrated, and I fantasize about it in order to finish. I want to stop needing these mental thoughts and images in order to finish. Help!

1 Answers
Dr Mojo Staff answered 3 months ago

First of all, you need to relax, because everyone has different types of fantasy some different than the other. Secondly, it’s a good idea to talk to him about your fantasy and let him share the view with you, probably, then you can bring in roleplay in which you both pretend to be strangers and start a dialogue and eventually lead to sex. You can also, try to have some more bedroom games and roleplays that can spice up the sex and probably take you to a different orgasmic trip or even a sex toy in your next session. Try to break the monotony of regular sex and things might feel better.

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