It’s a shame, that we live on the land where Kamasutra was born and yet talking about anything related to sex is a taboo. However the act in itself is not, how else would we have a population of 1.3 billion? In fact, even sexual jokes have been called ‘non-veg’ jokes like either of them is a bad thing! While the millennials may have moved faster on the sex education route due to our easy accessibility to the internet and general progress in some cases in the society, it’s not something that is discussed openly.
We still don’t talk to our parents about sex comfortably (like mine don’t know I write for a sex toy website); we pretend to look into our phones when a sex scene is showing on TV while you’re watching a Bond movie with your folks or whether it’s about discussing masturbation with friends. Everyone either shies away or changes the topic.
Surprisingly, things that are deterrent to one’s health like smoking and drinking have been accepted well in the society or even smoking up. I bet you can find a weed dealer much easier than a place to buy a dildo for yourself because tinder has been disappointing you for months. Something that brings us happiness and pleasure, sometimes even relief, is to be kept on the down low but if you are ever found doing drugs, they’ll just wonder how much money your parents have to let you burn like that!
We keep talking about breaking stereotypes, changing the world, yet we cannot bring ourselves to talk about sex comfortably. Every time someone makes a sexual joke or make an innuendo, people call that person a pervert. When someone shares a story remotely involving sex, people say, “That’s too much information!”
The thing is, we’ve been conditioned to think this way through the ages. We’ve been taught sex is not a matter of public discussion. We’ve been told to stay away from ‘bad influences’ that do not shy away from these topics to be brought to the public forum. We all love reading the sexpert column in Mumbai Mirror or Relationship and Sex advice from Dr. Mojo on ImBesharam Social media pages, but no one does it unless they are alone. Girls reading Mills & Boon romance novels always hid them because “Log Kya Kahenge?”
Most of us saw our first glimpses of porn during school, a bunch of friends gathered at someone’s place when their parents weren’t around and had a good internet connection! Admitting to someone that you’ve watched porn in your life seems some kind of heinous crime compared to dowry, child marriage or marital rape. This is more common for girls, boys are known to watch porn regularly because they ‘need it’ but the society assumes the girls can control their desires and do not need visual aids to help satisfy or relieve themselves. A guy with tons of GB worth of porn is hailed as some kind of God amongst his friend’s circle, whereas a girl accepting that she has watched something once in her life maybe suddenly raises eyebrows.
The problem is not just that sex is a taboo topic; it’s also the sexism and hypocrisy that comes with it. Boys can have as much sex as they want before marriage, but they only want virgin brides. Or if a girl has sex before marriage, she must be a slut. It’s time to drop all these labels. We’re in 2016, humans are supposed to have evolved and progressed yet we’re stuck in a century old customs and thoughts.
Even science and research has deemed sex as one of the top ways to deal with stress, anxiety and it has several other health benefits as well. Sex can be fun and it helps two people know each other better. Whether it’s in a loving relationship or a casual encounter, it’s a personal choice. It does not have to be about just reproduction if only people understood that!
Let’s get one thing out in the open, sex is wonderful. It’s one of the best feelings in the world and it’s a basic need to a human. Sex is the sole reason I’m here writing this article and the sole reason you’re on the other side reading it. Everyone wants you to have sex once you’re married because they want grandkids but still don’t talk about it openly. Sex is the one thing around which this society has based everything. Marriage, kids, future, more kids, everything has sex written all over it, but hey, don’t talk about it.
