Just like the first kiss, the first time you have sex is a big moment in anyone’s life. It’s good to be prepared not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

Last Minute Prep

It’s not an exam, it’s not something your life will be judged on, but it’s always good to be prepared. A lot of youngsters have sex because everyone is doing it and they don’t want to miss out. However, it’s a huge moment to share that kind of intimacy and closeness with someone and you should ignore peer pressure in such cases. Give yourself and your partner time to be ready and talk about it.

Don’t fall for the glorious stories of performance your friends or colleagues may have bragged about, don’t assume everything shown in porn is how real sex happens because it’s scripted and rehearsed, and you don’t wake up with perfect hair the next morning (movie logic). Every couple needs to find their own rhythm and understanding in bed and it’s okay to not be the best the first time as long as you put in the effort.

Choosing Your Mate

While virginity staying intact until marriage is not such an alarming issue anymore from society’s perspective, those special moments for the first time should be with someone special. You will always remember the person you had sex with for the first time, the person you gave your virginity to. It’s a big deal for a lot of people, and hence, choosing who that person is you want to remember for the rest of your life is very important.

It’s Non-Renewable

Your first-time sex can make or break you emotionally. If it’s with the right person, and we don’t mean the one you’re going to marry or settle down with; someone who understands you and is right at that point of time in life, it’ll be one of the best experiences. However, if the one you choose is not in it for emotions then you may lose faith completely.

Your first time is going to happen once, so be sure that you are emotionally willing to get involved in this. Don’t do it because your partner may be pressuring you into it and you’re worried he/she may leave you otherwise. Believe me, it’s not worth your time anyway. Secondly, make sure your partner is equally willing if they are not, then don’t push or try to persuade them into it – you just have to be patient and let them take their time.

Safe Fun

First times are all about excitement, exploring and fun. It’s important both of you enjoy every moment spent in bed. Try new things during foreplay, spend time on each other instead of directly jumping to post. Most importantly, buy condoms and use them when the actual time comes. Girls, don’t let the guy convince you into not using condoms it’s for protection. Boys, don’t make a big deal out of its inconvenience, the consequences of not using are way worse.

Cover Your Basics

Your first time is not for you to experiment every movie scene or porn fantasy with your partner. You must cover your basic well before you two start experimenting because it may take the time to get that comfortable. The missionary position is most recommended for first timers as it is easy, both partners have equal control and they face each other which helps make the process intimate. In the missionary position, the guy is on top and the girl on her back.

Keep In Mind

Unlearn everything you’ve picked up from various sources about sex, keep an open mind and be humble in bed. Your first time will be magical if you don’t overthink things and let yourself be at the moment. We have some key pointers to help you have an amazing time:

  • Personal Hygiene: Check your breath, your body odor, and make sure you’re prepared. Shave and clean wherever required.
  • Foreplay: Don’t rush into penetration before ensuring everyone involved is ready. A lot of foreplay is a good idea, quickies are not meant for first times. If you hurry the process, girls may feel hurt in the act and over excitement may make the boys lose their erections.
  • Speak: Communicate in bed during this time, talk about the pain or pleasure when you’re actually having sex because suffering silently won’t help your partner understand what you like or don’t like.
  • Alcohol: While alcohol may sound like a good idea to calm the nerves, it’s not the best idea. You want to experience and remember every second of this time and being drunk won’t help. Also, too much alcohol may hinder in the guy getting his hard on.
  • Check: The guys should check if the girl is actually ready down there. Put your fingers to good use and insert a finger or two, depending on the girl’s comfort to help with lubrication. It also makes it easier for penetration.
  • Be Kind: If it’s the first time for the girl as well, keep in mind that even she’s nervous and trying to figure things out. If she’s hurting during penetration, stop moving and just let her body get comfortable. Avoid rough or wild sex during the first time. Let go of any unrealistic expectations and be there with and for each other.

Ratisha Das

Hi, I am Ratisha, and I am gay, I love to write about Sex and Liberation, a strong believer in "Live & Let Live. You can share your opinion about my writing in the comments below and I will try to attend all the comments

February 27, 2017

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