According to the reports, 45% men come in 2 minutes or less leaving the female partner without orgasm. Sex as an activity is mainly controlled and dependent on male counterpart putting him in even more pressure to deliver. Here are some of the tried and tested suggestions to last long on the bed.
Part 1: Improving your Sex psychology
If you go for sex thinking that you will not last long, you surely won’t. Insecurities about performance will make you cum faster. There is a biological reason behind it, the insecurities make you stressed. Your body understands the stress and suggests it isn’t safe to get naked and laid. So it reduces the amount of time in that state, either by making you cum quickly or not being able to get it up at all
Go into sex with confidence and positive approach on your performance and most importantly talk to your partner about it. Bring up the concern with the partner they will not think of you any less. They will rather rate you higher for being open about it and attempting to solve the problem. Talking about a problem is half way to solving it.
Talking also has positive spillovers like improved communication with your partner, trust on each other.
Part 2: Exercise
Exercise can and does help you improve your performance and increases your sexual longevity. Regular Kegel and masturbation help improve the performance. The importance to both of it is at 50% each
Kegels: (Less than 10 minutes a day)
- The best way to improve that ejaculator is to strengthen the muscles that control the ejaculation. Here is what needs to be done:
- Put a finger or two on the skin between your legs behind your balls, but before your anus.
- Now imagine you’re trying to stop yourself from peeing.
- Flex that muscle. Do not flex your ass, abs, legs, focus on flexing that muscle that connects to penis and balls.
- You should feel some movement when you put your fingers, and you might feel it in your penis and balls as well.
- If you cannot focus or find it difficult to get there, drink a lot of water and try controlling yourself.
- The muscle with which you are holding is the muscle we are referring to. This is called your Pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle
- It controls the flow of urine and also controls ejaculation. Strengthening it will make you last longer, and eventually even allow you to stop yourself from reaching the “point of no return” and quickly bring yourself down from near orgasm.
Strengthening of PC muscles is called Kegel exercise. It involves flexing it and releasing over and over again. You can do it multiples times through the day or once a day whatever suits you. PC exercise just like any muscle if you stop training it will go weaker. So it is important to keep training yourself. You can also download any Kegal exercise app on your phone to keep a track of things and also increase intensity level
Masturbation & Edging (10-30 minutes a day)
Not lasting long in bed is many times correlated to bad masturbation habits, new rule for masturbating: Nothing less than 10 minutes and once that is achieved up the bar to 15 and then 20. When a guy isn’t performing well in bed it because he is targeting to cum very quickly. i.e a quick escalation straight to cumming. To last longer one needs to learn ‘Edging.” Edging is done during sex and also incorporated into your masturbation)
How it works
- While masturbating get yourself to a scale of 7/10 on arousal scale. (You will learn the scale with practice)
- Stop, and let yourself go to 5
- Now work your way to 8, and then stop again and let yourself slide to 6
- Up to 9, down to 7
- Up to 9.5 and down to 7 again. (9.5 is a difficult point where very few people can come back from)
- Repeat 9.5 to 7 a few times in 10 minutes, until after 10 minutes. Once you release you’ll notice this makes your orgasm much stronger
- Squeeze PC muscles hard like it is an intense kegel. Hold it in uncertain patterns like 10 seconds, 1-second hold, 5 seconds hold. (The longer you hold the more you’ll come down)
- Think about something else
- Change the way you were stroking, probably avoid the head instead of stopping entirely
- Breathes: Take deep stomach breaths
- Combine all these techniques for an ideal result, but start with one at first until it becomes your nature.
- If you have a partner, ask them to help you with mouth stimulation or have slow sex with start and stopping. I am sure the experience for the partner would be far more enthusiastic and give better results
- It will be really tempting when you hit 9.5 to get back to 7, but the boat the survives the toughest storms will sail forever. It will be worth the save.
Part 3: Sex Techniques
Let us get the game rolling and come to the main chapter the actual deed. If you are doing your training, then you are already going to have good results. But you can add more fun by adding following four strategies to your sessions. It uses the same principles that we have been applying in our previous learning
New Foreplay order
A standard foreplay guideline followed and typically expected by women is
Kissing > Touching > Cunnilingus > Felatio > Sex
However, we suggested
Kissing > Touching > Giving her manually > Felatio > Cunnilingus > Sex
Get her off manually a couple of times before entering into sex and when you’re receiving oral, once you get 9.5 a couple of times (same edging technique as before, just this time you yell “stop” at the peaks), switch it up so you can cool down while you go down on her and get her off a few times.
Also, suggest her to push against your PC muscle using her 2 fingers or fist while she is down on you. It feels good and makes you last longer.
Have a cool down period with no stimulation on your part like going down on her.
Edging the sex
It is easier to edge during masturbation or foreplay but during sex, it is little difficult. You don’t want to thrust, stop and start thrusting again since it is going to be frustrating for her. Instead, you can edge yourself by switching the positions.
We all have some positions that move you up arousal stages quicker while others less so. You need to self-figure what is ‘low stimulating’ for you and which one is ‘high stimulating’ positions, Get to high stimulating positions when you’re at 5 or 6, then switch when you reach 8 or 9
Most importantly, while you’re switching, take a few seconds to squeeze your PC muscles!
It is the most ignored aspect, but breathing affects how quickly you cum. You can make yourself more or less aroused by changing your breathing. If you are bringing yourself down, slow breathing and make them deep belly breaths.
Quick breaths in your shoulder and chest are what one does to cum, so if you’re doing that you are close to climax.
Clamping when close
While above will have you stayed in 5-9 range, here is what you need to do when you wish to return from 9.9. This is where your training of PC muscles will come into the picture, assume you got a strong 9.9 and you need to come back. You have to stop thrusting and clamp down hard like a long kegel hold. You might misfire a few times but practice will help you master it. So that’s all you need, one change in psychology and two exercises to bring you back in good sexual shape. It’s all about execution, be open to a partner about what you are working on and you’ll see results in a month.