Sexual Desires aren’t Bad

One of the difficulties of talking about sexuality is the need to clarify what meaning we attach to the words we are using and how we perceive these terms. Sexual desire is one such term.

In school, sex was often addressed as shameful and talking about it was considered a taboo. Young women were told that indulging in sexual behavior would lower their worth and that they would become ‘second hand’ goods, as though their self-worth was connected only to their sexuality. It wasn’t much easier for younger men either, they were often made to feel guilty of their sexual urges and lust. Due to raging hormones in that age, young boys have thoughts in their head that makes them feel like perverts, resulting in them being guilt-ridden and not honest.

Orthodox Society

The orthodox older folks of society blamed the western culture and media for popularizing sex and influencing the younger generation that sex is something casual and having intercourse casually is not a big deal. While some parts of the world have become more liberal, almost all of us have been unconsciously affected by the centuries of stiff-lipped religious ethics that have gone before us. These rigid and inhumane ideologies have encouraged us to repress and shun our sexuality. What these orthodox older generations fail to see is that sexual desire is hard-wired into our brains. Yes, the desire that stems from the need to satisfy oneself physically is called sexual desire. That doesn’t mean that we think about sex all the time, but it is something to think about in terms of pleasing one’s own body and mind.

Sex is love

Sex offers us the opportunity to feel desired by another person, the feeling of being loved by someone for who we really are, and this feeling is intense, something that cannot be replicated. Who gives anyone the right to suppress this feeling or to take it away? I don’t think anyone should be given that right! But then again, we must live in this society and this society has a set of rules that we must follow to live in it. But does that mean that they have the right to take away our most primal urges and instincts? No, they don’t, but we tend to adjust to the norms of society and forget or repress our own needs. There are other causes due to which a person’s sexual desires are curbed. For instance, some wives shy away from showing their sexual side to their husbands, due to the fear of being judged and don’t express them at all. On the other hand, some husbands are insensitive to their wives’ needs and hurry sexual intercourse. In this process, neither the husband or the wife enjoy the process of lovemaking and suppress their inner need to express themselves.

Sexual repression symptoms

Some of the symptoms that show that you are experiencing sexual repression are chronic tension: when we carry too much pent-up energy in our lower abdomen area and it is not released through an orgasm, our bodies tend to store up this energy can stagnate if we don’t have an outlet to express it. The next symptom is insomnia: In some cases, insomnia can also be the product of bottled-up sexual energy that hasn’t been expressed or channelled appropriately. Aggression is also one such symptom, we can see this clearly expressed in strict religious countries where the occurrences of rape, assault, and murder are high due to sexual repression. Frequent erotic dreams are also a sign that you are sexually repressed. If you’re having dreams about being intimate or sleeping with someone in your dreams, it is a sign that you are sexually repressed. The effects of repressing sexual desires can be dire. Once repressed, some people shy away from the opposite sex, thinking that it will arouse them sexually. Some dress up shabbily or much more ordinary than they usually do, to not attract the opposite sex. Others suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem and inability to cope up with work.

Why sexual repression should be addressed?

Sexual repression is a serious problem and it must be addressed. A few ways to tackle it would be to gain sex education, an awareness must be created in order to understand the problem and to seek help. Some things one can do to overcome sexual repression is, record your personal experiences in a journal or a private diary. This will help you to openly express your true sexual feelings, without being judged. Exploring self-pleasure can also help as it will elicit the feeling of guilt, embarrassment within ourselves, at the same time exploring your deepest sexual desires and what makes you happy. Other methods of coping include learning to enjoy sex when it is actually happening, instead of thinking too hard about the taboo that the society has built around it. Also allowing oneself to feel desirable is a way of coping with sexual repression. The most powerful way to feel desirable is to respect and accept yourself for who you really are, only then will you seem attractive to the opposite sex. These are only a few tips as to how one can enjoy sexual intercourse in this world where everyone is judging. In today’s times, the taboo is starting to fade away gradually, giving us a chance to live up to our desires, so there is nothing to shy away from, go ahead and explore your wild side!


Ratisha Das

Hi, I am Ratisha, and I am gay, I love to write about Sex and Liberation, a strong believer in "Live & Let Live. You can share your opinion about my writing in the comments below and I will try to attend all the comments

January 12, 2018

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