Last weekend, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time together. Neither of us is a virgin. We had really amazing foreplay and we gave each other oral, but when he put a condom on (he was super hard before), he suddenly went soft and then it just got worse. We tried it two more times that night, and it was the same. He said it has happened before, so it’s not my fault or anything, and we talked about it, though he feels really embarrassed. Is there any way I could do something so next time this won’t happen?
In a majority of cases, it is likely due to psychosomatic – the mind is telling you to expect a bad experience, so your body delivers one. That negative connotation of condom use and associating it with bad sex can be a hard cycle to break – ask your boyfriend to try and masturbate with a condom on, it is a good way to get used to the sensation, without ‘pressure’ of having to perform.